Dealing with High Conflict Personalities

Hosted by the LBA's ADR/Mediation Law Section

This 3-hour training will start with the dynamics of five high conflict personality disorders which most frequently impact legal disputes, in and out of court: narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, histrionic, and paranoid. This will include DSM-5 factors and recognizing their conflict behavior patterns. Then, tips for working with them as individual clients will be addressed, including what to do and what NOT to do. This will include EAR Statements for calming them, BIFF Responses for responding to emails and setting limits. Next, tips for litigating the high conflict case will be addressed, including questions to ask clients, evaluations, taking depositions, presenting patterns of behavior to the court, and requesting court orders to restrain high conflict behavior. Then methods for managing mediation with high conflict parties will be presented, including structuring the process, managing outbursts, and getting thoughtful participation in making and analyzing proposals.

Agenda 

Understanding High-Conflict Personalities 
An overview is provided of five high-conflict personality patterns and their common high-conflict behavior, including Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Antisocial, and Paranoid. We will address their preoccupation with blaming others (their “targets of blame”) and how they often draw others into their conflicts (“negative advocates”).  Recent brain research about managing their negativity will be presented and a general approach provided for calming upset clients and moving them into problem-solving.                              

Managing Individuals with High-Conflict Personalities 
Four key skills will help you manage your relationship with high conflict personalities as clients, family members, and opposing parties and counsel. Known as the “CARS Method,” these skills include: Connecting with Empathy, Attention, and Respect (including a practice exercise); Analyzing Alternatives; Responding to Hostility and Misinformation (including writing email responses that are Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm – BIFF); and Setting Limits with Empathy, Attention, and Respect, and Consequences.

Managing Cases in Litigation, Negotiation, and Mediation 
This session will include tips for litigating the high conflict case, including questions to ask clients, evaluations, depositions, presenting patterns of behavior to the court and requesting court orders to restrain high conflict behavior. Then methods for managing mediation with high conflict parties will be presented, including structuring the process, managing outbursts, and getting thoughtful participation in making and analyzing proposals.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES                         

1. Identify interpersonal conflict dynamics of 5 “high conflict” personality disorders.
2. Apply four key skills for managing individuals with high-conflict personalities.
3. Apply a method for presenting patterns of high-conflict behavior in court.
4. Teach clients a 3-step method for making proposals and asking questions.
5. Teach clients communication responses that are Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm (BIFF).
6. Describe how contagious emotions by parents and professionals impact children.

Speaker: Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., High Conflict Institute